True or False?
The successes of your children are completely a reflection of your parenting?
Today, I look at my school aged children and find myself taking a good hard look in the mirror. One question do I ever judge the level of achievement of my children by their grades or how well they do in the current sport they are involved in at the time? At times I believe I do and it isn’t always a good thing.
There are many conversations I have been apart of where parent’s are almost over the top boasting about their child who is getting all “A”s in school or how well they are doing in college. It makes me think how hard these kids work and for what reason are they working so hard. Is it healthy to strive for the top if you are doing it to have another person show you affirmation? Shouldn’t a person love you for more than how well you do in academics or a certain activity?
Many families are disconnected with their children in the world today. As a former child I know I tried to make my parents value me, but it wasn’t through grades! I think the most imporant thing you can do to help your child grow as a person is to spend one on one time with your child. Also, I think it is huge when you sit down as a family and just talk to each other. Dinner at the table is a great place to start. I didn’t enjoy sitting with my children during any meal times. I have a issue with food being chewed – it’s stupid I know, but I am pushing through my issues (at least that one). Once Ryan and I were a couple he taught me about the importance behind sitting together as a family. We don’t eat alone or spread out throughout the house any longer. Meal time is now a family time event at our home. Wonderful conversations take place at our kitchen table.
Another thought that came to my mind was do I care what kind of grades my children are getting in school. I would have to answer with a “yes”. I want them to try their best to get good grades, but by no means do I say I want all “A”s. Each child learns differently and most schools are set up to teach one way for everyone. I have a child who struggles to learn and is currently behind, but she tries hard and receives help at school. I also have another child who is ahead a couple of grades. She needs no help and school is very easy for her. My oldest child is an everyday average student. I don’t expect them to finish high school and run off into the sunset to college. However, I do hope they will work hard where ever God has placed them in their lives.
I trust God to be at their sides as they go through life making choices (good or bad). I will be there to pick them up and point them towards the right direction if they fall. I will be the biggest cheerleader when they cross over each finish line they achieve. I will pray for every one of my children to bring glory to God in all that they do because as I reflect on my question at the top I don’t think what they do in their lives is about me, but about God.
When my child lies or when my child shares it shows their soul. If they are having issues being honest it tells others they are not fearful of our Lord who will judge them for their actions. If they are joyful as they work hard on their homework that is a clear picture of pleasing Christ in all that we do – fun stuff or not. I myself need to show joy and praise while I do things I don’t like to do (example: cleaning the house). I am so happy to know that what my children get for grades is not what makes or breaks our relationship. It’s just a small part of life. Now, I will leave you with this one question: Do you base your child’s success by works?
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Hi! My name is Kelly and I run Life In Minnesota with my husband, Ryan.
My vision for LIM is that it shares engaging stories of unique Minnesotans and that it’s considered a wonderful resource that helps make every life in MN more awesome!
I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org